The following is a conversation between Frank, a 40 something year-old, who was recently in the hospital and his friend Kat who also was in the hospital not long ago. Let’s listen in and see what in the world he is talking about.

(Frank) Hey, Kat. I was in the hospital last week, and I think my chaplain might be a Ninja.

(Kat) What are you talking about?

(Frank) Have you ever noticed how mysterious the hospital chaplain is? Do you ever get an unsettling feeling about them? Like, who are they? What do they do and you know, what do they want? It’s like a ninja. The word ninja means, the one who conceals himself.

(Kat) Uh, no, I do not think the hospital chaplain is like a ninja. I thought him to be kind, open and understanding.

(Frank) Come on Kat, think about it. Ninja’s have like special training called ninjutsu, which emphasizes speed and accuracy over power. They are specially trained in weapons. Like the chaplains.

(Kat) What are you talking about?

(Frank) The chaplain. You know they have special training. The one I saw had me talking and sharing with him about things I don’t share with anyone. That takes some pretty special power to get me talking. He has all kinds of Bible knowledge you know that’s his secret weapon. They say the Word of God is a Sword.

(Kat) Yeah, most of them go to Bible college and many of them have a master’s degree in divinity or theology. Some are even trained in pastoral care and counseling. I met one who had a degree in psychology.

(Frank) That’s what I’m saying. They are serious swordsmen just like ninjas. They know things and study things. Did you know ninjas are mercenaries who try to blend in to get information from people? They would disguise themselves to blend in. Didn’t you notice that about the chaplain?

(Kat) Blends in, what do you mean?

(Frank) He looks like an ordinary person. Like you and me. He doesn’t wear a fancy ‘church robe’ or a priestly collar or any of that churchy stuff. I think he’s a ninja.

(Kat) You never cease to amaze me. I don’t think the chaplain is trying to blend in as you say. I think he genuinely wants to help. I think he really cares and he just brings a calm presence with him. A peace that relaxes the person he is visiting.

(Frank) I read that ninjas are emotionally intelligent and very self-aware. The chaplain that visited me sure had those qualities. I’m telling you, Kat, he was a ninja.

(Kat) I believe he was emotionally intelligent, after all chaplains have a lot of training. They are experts in spiritual care and grief counseling. Did you know they are first responder?

(Frank) Wow, I didn’t know all that. Ninjas are kind of like first responders. Ninja’s live by The Law of Value which is like a moral code. It says and I quote, “our true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you receive in payment”. You can’t ague with that Kat. That sounds an awful lot like a first responder and the hospital chaplain.

(Kat) Frank, I might agree with you there, but I don’t think the chaplain finds his or her true worth in giving. They give and pour out, that’s for sure. But I think it’s out of their love and commitment for God and humanity. I think, and I might regret saying this. But like a ninja they do it because it’s their calling. Even women can be chaplains or ninjas for that matter.

(Frank) Yeah, I had a female chaplain before. She told me she was a certified chaplain. Did you know chaplains are certified? They have, like a ninja, Kat. Special training. I mean a lot of training.

(Kat) Yes. I read that they do hundreds of hours in something called clinical pastoral education. They learn to deal with emergency situation, trauma, death and dying and stuff like that so they will know how to minister to all kinds of people.

(Frank) Do you think ninjas can minister to people the way chaplains can? You know like helping people with family, staff, and grief counseling?

(Kat) I don’t know. I’m not sure if ninjas can provide emotional and spiritual support like chaplains do. I mean chaplains are skilled in empathy and compassion. They have strong communication skills and have an ability to be calm in stressful and traumatic situations. They are trained experts.

(Frank) Yep, exactly like a ninja!

(Kat) You are too much! But seriously, Frank. May I ask you one last question? If you or someone you loved were in a really bad situation. I mean really bad, Frank. Would you want prayer or a visit from a ninja or a chaplain?

(Frank) I’d have to say a chaplain. Definitely a chaplain. After all he is the one that will sit with me for hours if necessary and not disappear on me, like a real ninja might.

(Kat) Hey Frank, What did the doctor call the injury made by a ninja?

(Frank) I don’t know. What?

(Kat) A ninjury!

(Frank) Very funny, Kat. Very funny.  

     Thanks for hanging out with Frank and Kat to the end. I hope you learned something new about the hospital chaplain. If you have any questions about what was discussed, please feel free to contact me. I’m Chaplain Sunny, a sword whirling real-life hospital chaplain and not just any ninja. (Ephesians 6:17; Hebrews 4:14).